Belief Chapter 2

At ten o clock we were sitting in Mum and Dad's front room and Ali was trying to get her to go to bed.
"What about Maggie?"  Mum was saying.
"Done mum, or I'll do tomorrow." Ali said. "I can't phone everyone tonight, it's late now."
"They'll worry..."
"They won't worry Mum, they don't know anything was wrong with Dad,  I'll tell them.."
Ali's voice was starting to crack and I could see her staring at me, desperate for me to do something but I couldn't speak. I didn't like seeing my mother looking weak. I didn't like the living room without Dad.  I wanted to go home.
"I'll go and wash these cups." my mum said pointlessly and took our cups to the kitchen.  Mine was still half full and tea slopped onto the table but no one noticed.
Ali half smiled at me. "Ok?" she asked, putting her hand on my arm. I went to brush her hand away but instead I held her fingers, removed my arm and rested her hand on the arm of the chair. "Can you do the cousins tomorrow?"  she asks. I nod.

After a good ten minutes of consideration I had changed my profile picture to a nice, recent one of Dad smiling and written something unambiguous and nice.  My phone had buzzed many times already. I would still make the phone calls the next day like my sister wanted but the cousins would already know and would tell their parents tonight. The parents would start ringing as soon as was decent in the morning to find out what had happened.

What had happened.  Already social media stalkers had tried to tell me he was a good age,  those that didn't know he was healthy.

"I'll go and put your electric blanket on." Mum said to me, heading upstairs to do me that small service as she always did.
"I'll go home, Mum." I said quickly but she didn't seem to hear. Ali glared.
"Claire, no, one of us needs to stay!" she whisper-whined in shock. "I've got to get back."
I opened my mouth to protest,  but I knew I'd lose that. I knew what she'd say,  she needed to get home and see the boys. She didn't trust James to talk to them. She'd say they needed their mother.  I wanted to say; but you're also a daughter and your mother needs you. But I knew that applied to me too.
"She thinks it's her fault."  Ali mouthed and did a sad face at the end.
It is her fault though, I wanted to say.  It's her fault Dad's dead.